So, here in England, when you greet someone in passing,
instead of saying “how are you, or how ya doing?, you are greeted with “Are you
alright?” It’s actually kindof hard to get used to because it always makes me
wonder if I’ve tripped or if I look real sick and someone is asking me if I’m
okay. Now, I’m getting used to it because I find that most British people I’ve
met are extremely friendly (unless I do something wrong while driving, which
you know how that is). Another
thing is the word “brilliant”. In the states, if we were to describe something
as brilliant if would be that we read about a 3 month old reading or playing
the piano, or that we saw an amazing piece of art unlike no other. That is
something that we would describe as brilliant. Here, I can say, “Oh, I’m going
to go in the kitchen and make a turkey sandwich”, the response would be “oh,
brilliant”. It’s used for everything….good ideas, nice weather, actions that
you do, or it can be used sarcastically, which is my favorite British humor (or
humour, as it’s spelled here).
So,
some of the things we had planned for our summer and Josh’s three week break
were sidelined by stupid cancer, but we tried like hell to make the most of it.
We ended up not being able to go to Scotland, which was a total bummer, but we
did go to a place called Blackpool. We thought it would be a nice little quaint
beachy village, but our neighbors set us straight before we left which was very
helpful. Imagine Myrtle Beach, Vegas, Jersey Shore, Atlantic City all rolled
into one place…with lots and lots of pigeons. It was a “beach” with lots of
piers with amusement parks on them…so crazy to us Topsail Beach people. We did
manage to have a blast and see some really cool things. We went to an amazing
circus in a small very old venue. I told the girls that a long time ago, it was
a big deal to go out to something like that and you had to be rather
well-to-do. It was small and
beautiful with velvet on the walls and nice carvings. The circus itself was
just full of amazing acts which was a lot of fun.
We had good food and lots of
great people watching. At one point, Abbey said, “Mommy, I see more people with
Mohawks than families”. That might
give you a little bit of an idea right there!
So,
school started on September 2, but only for Leah. Without going into too much
detail, there was no room at any school around for Madeline and Abbeys age, so
we were waiting to go to an appeal on the Thursday after school started.
Anyway, my brave, introverted Leah started as the only American at a British
school. It was great. She loved It, people were so kind and helpful to her.
That same day, the headmaster said that a family with children in the same grade
as Abbey and Madeline moved away this summer and they were pleased to offer
them a spot! What a God thing! They started the very next day and were all
adorable in their school uniform and they looked so smart. I never get tired of
looking at them in that outfit. Genny started on September 8 at a private
school nearby and it’s so amazing, it reminds me of a college setting. It makes me
tired hearing about her day, its so busy and full of things to do and learn.
They are slowly adjusting, I know it will take some time, but it really is a
great experience for them and they are already talking about friends and having
fun, so that makes me happy. It’s the first time I’ve had all 4 kids at school
all day and not gone to work myself!! What am I to do with all my time!???
SO, the girls are settled, Josh is good in his work. His
hours are not like Ft. Bragg time, which is great. He’s here most mornings and
home for dinner most nights. He’s even playing rugby with a group from work.
He’s liking his job a lot, and that makes us all happy!
When
I talk about how I’m doing these days, I will more than likely say that
everything is okay. That is how it mostly is. The way that Josh, the girls and
I live is what we call L3 (or L cube, or L cubing, however it goes).
It stands for Live, Love and Laugh. As cheesy as that sounds, it’s really what
we do. We have a lot to live for, we LOVE to laugh and we certainly have an
abundance of love in our home and in our life. It started out when Josh asked
me a long time ago what I wanted to do one weekend and I just said “Just a
little living, loving and laughing”. Well that just became our thing.
When I
first got diagnosed, there was massive fear for Josh and me. This wasn’t
expected and it was so scary. For me personally, it was because I wasn’t used
to thinking about what would happen if I died. It was always a worry about Josh
leaving us. He had the scary job, he had the things that put him in harms way.
I was “prepared” (yea right) if it happened to him…not me. It was a scary time
for us for about 2 weeks. Waiting for test results, waiting for prognosis,
waiting, wondering, not doing a lot of L3ing, that is for sure. BUT,
just like everything, time gets you through it. My doc is hopeful. The medicine
he has me on has a success rate of 80% and people have been living on it with
much worse diagnosis than me for 5+ years. That gives someone who is BRILLIANT time
to come out with something new. I have also, due to some great suggestions from
loved ones, RADICALLY changed my diet. No sugar, no refined sugar, free range
chick and beef and limited amounts of diary (I love cheese so much). Trying to
do organic everything, lots of fruits and veggies and lots of natural food from
the earth. Not so hard after awhile. I went through a major detox time with a
headache and upset stomach, but now it's all good. I just thought that I
wouldn’t feed the cancer what it loves, which is crap that I tended to put in
my body. I love McDonalds and coke, but cancer loves it too. So, that is all
gone. My attitude has always been positive and I have plenty of reason to live.
So I’m going at this guns blazing. And, as usual, Josh is 100% on board. So are
the girls. We are a great team and it works for us.
Just
a quick recap on what is going on treatment wise to catch you up. Mom arrived
on August 20th much to our delight and has been a huge help. Getting
the girls to and from school, she’s a master at keeping up with the laundry and
dishes and has helped unpack 40 million boxes when our furniture FINALLY GOT DELIVERED
ON THURSDAY!!!! She is staying until Sept 30 and then we do the mom switch out
and get Meg (Josh’s mom) on that same day. We are so lucky to have so much help
and love and support!! Then, my sis in law, Che, comes for 18 days in November! I have chemo every three weeks on a Monday. Today was
round 2. I have three different things given to me those days, so it makes for
a long day. One is actual chemo designed to shrink and kill the cancer (pray
that is what it’s doing, if you want to pray for something specifically). The
other two are part of a study that is antibodies that help keep you healthy and
prolong your life. They are herceptin because my cancer is HER2 positive.
That’s a good thing, there are more treatment options for HER2 + people. I
think that means that it’s fed on protein, but everything gets mixed up in my
brain, I know that I should know this and I will get refreshed on it, but for
right now, I know it’s a good thing. I also receive another antibody medicine
that helps prolong my life, as well. It’s called pertusamab (I know that’s not
spelled correctly, but you would never know that either unless you were a
smarty pants or a doctor). These
are good things. The actually chemo is what makes my hair fallout and all those
other things, but that ends December 4th! I will continue the other things for as long as they are
working. I also receive a shot in my stomach every 4 weeks that is a bone-strengthening
drug called Dosamab (again, the spelling). That has no real side effects and it
super easy to get and tolerate. So, for right now, as of the 1st
round of chemo, it made me pretty sick about 3 days after…nauseous like crazy
and a very bad upset stomach. I was very tired and good for nothing for about 5
days. But, I felt so wonderful after that…nothing like a little dose of
perspective!! The doc has upped my anti sickness meds this time, so hopefully
that will minimize the side effects. I absolutely HATE feeling crummy and I’m
sort of a baby about it. But, once I felt better, I was happy to be back in the
land of the living. My hair started falling out last week, so we decided to cut
it and shave it as a family. The girls cut it and Josh shaved it. I never
really care much about my hair because I always wear it in a ponytail, so that
wasn’t such a big deal.
That is really
all to report as of now. Things will just keep on keeping on. I don’t have any
fear anymore, just hope. There is a great book by Anne Lamont called “Help,
Thanks, Wow”. It’s really about the 3 best ways to pray. Get your help request
out of the way; it’s good to ask God for what you need. Then, it’s really
necessary to thank Him for what he has blessed you with and that gives way for
you to notice and pray for all the WOWS in your life. And believe me, NO MATTER
WHAT; there are always wows around. That is what we love. They are everywhere.
That really takes away the fear if you think about it. I just really feel hope
and encouragement and love, love, love.
I
will have another PET scan after the 3rd round of chemo to see if
it’s doing what it’s supposed to do. Pray for that, I need it to shrink all
this mess inside me, so that what I’m doing works too! So, pray, chant, meditate, send up
whatever it is you do. I know that works and your love and support is so
amazing, I can truly feel it from across the globe. Until we know something
different, we will continue to L3!!
